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I place a kiss on her cheek and tell her everything she wants to know.
“My options were really limited. With no formal education beyond high school, and with the fact that I couldn’t work during the day, it was tough. I took a job working nights stocking shelves at the local grocery store. I worked from midnight until six o’clock. Some days, I had to go straight to practice from the store. It was brutal.”
“Shit,” she says. “I can’t imagine.”
“Yeah, it sucked there for a bit,” I admit. “But I couldn’t complain. I was getting a chance that few kids in my position would ever have at their fingertips.”
She tsks. “When did you sleep?”
“I didn’t. When I tried, it was wherever I could lay my head.”
“Aiden. Are you serious?” Her voice is full of distress. Her eyes wide with shock.
“I’d crash after practice, sleep a few hours, eat, and then work. If I was lucky, I’d get to shower after practice. That was my life for two years. It’s not that I wanted to disappear…”
“You just couldn’t do both. You had hockey. If you wanted to play, you had to prioritize.”
I swallow because it’s not lost on me that I’m about to admit that yeah, Pip was not my priority. But I can’t lie to her. I won’t.
“Yeah.”
“You had to choose—” she says, but I cut her off.
“I shouldn’t have.”
She shrugs. “But you had to. I understand. It’s not easy to hear, but I understand, Aiden.” She blows a breath through her teeth. “What happened next?”
“I got into college. I got accepted to play on the hockey team, and after that, I was in deep. I saw my goals were closer than they had ever been, and I just couldn’t mentally go back to that place. I had to look forward. To stay on track.”
“I understand.”
I know she means that, and I appreciate how supportive she’s being, but it doesn’t make me feel any less of a shit. I chose my happiness over ensuring she was okay, and that makes me the world’s biggest dick.
“You had to be focused. You couldn’t risk it,” she says, making more excuses for me.
“It was selfish. I should have—”
“Stop. You did what you had to do. I probably would have done the same thing if I was presented with that opportunity. We had to do what was best for our survival back then, Aiden.”
“No, you wouldn’t. Because that’s not you, Cass. Never have been, never will be. You gave your last dollar to me so that I could chase my dream. That could’ve been the difference between you eating or not for a week.”
“You don’t know that.”
She looks away, looking uncomfortable, and that makes my stomach drop. How close to an accurate picture did I just describe? I can’t think about it because it will make me rage.
“You’re a good person,” I say, placing my hand under her chin and turning it so that she’s looking at me.
She furrows her brow, a look passing over her features that I can’t decipher, but it’s quickly gone. “What?” I ask, confused by the expression on her face.
“Nothing. I was just thinking about what I would have done if you’d called. What I would’ve said.” She smiles, a closed-lip bullshit smile.
She’s lying. But right now, I don’t want to ask. I can’t risk ruining this moment because I know one thing for sure.
I don’t want to ruin this. Not now.
Not ever.
I’m falling for Cassidy. If I haven’t already fallen.
