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Guilt pounds against me, and I succumb to it.
36
CASSIDY
I’m not sure how much time has passed, but I’m still in the same position I’ve been in since he left me. I’m curled into myself on the floor, shivering from the cold seeping through my bones.
This was always going to happen. It was inevitable.
I had hoped it wouldn’t come down to this. That I could’ve been honest, not forced to spill my truth. That he would have let me explain…
You lied.
You gave him reason to question your motives.
Not once. But twice. Hell, I broke it over and over again. Every word I said, every look I gave reiterates this.
After everything he’s been through at the hands of his shitty mom, trust doesn’t come easy. And what I did shattered whatever trust I’ve built up.
The moment I slept with him, my original reasons for being there were moot. Pip, the girl he knew, disappeared soon after he left.
Aiden Slate doesn’t trust anyone, and he trusted me. He trusted Pippa back in the day, and he trusted Cassidy. In one fell swoop, I destroyed that for both versions of me.
I saw the hate in his eyes.
The disgust.
I broke more than his trust.
I’m an awful person.
And for what?
Love.
Because that’s the truth of things. I fell in love with Aiden.
I couldn’t just leave him. Couldn’t abandon him like everyone else does.
I hoped he was falling for me too. And even if he wasn’t, I wanted anything he was willing to give me.
Any tiny scrap.
Bile crawls up my throat, and I run to the bathroom.
My knees hit the cold tile as I open the lid and dry heave.
Nothing comes up, though. My stomach is empty.
My life…empty.
I sit there for a minute as tears pour down my face. Waiting for my turning stomach to spill its contents. It doesn’t. Even my body is intent on keeping me miserable.
In pain.
Suffering.
After a few minutes, I stand, making my way to the sink and turning on the faucet. I splash cold water on my face, and the chill is enough to snap me out of my stupor.
