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“I’ll see you later.”
It’s all he says before pulling out his phone and firing off some texts. Once he’s done, he gets to cleaning up.
I should pull myself together before heading out, but the need to run outweighs what I look like.
Before I know it, I’m in the elevator, and then once I get to the lobby, I’m rushing outside, gulping in the fresh air, likely looking on the verge of a crisis. And the onlookers thinking that would not be wrong.
A war is brewing inside me. I can’t keep up the lies. It’s not fair to either one of us.
A horn honks, and I realize I’m in the street.
“Hey, lady, you got a death wish or something?”
My hand lifts in apology as I rush back to the sidewalk, the angry taxi driver mumbling obscenities loud enough for everyone around to hear while rolling up his window.
An elderly woman walks by me, holding out a five-dollar bill, and I look at her like she has three heads.
“Get yourself a hot sandwich, dear.”
My mouth flops open. Does she think I’m homeless?
She places the money in front of me, waving goodbye.
“I’m…I’m not homeless,” I yell, glancing around to find that, thankfully, nobody else was around to witness one of my lowest points.
I glance down at my pants, recognizing that I’m in pajamas. My hair is likely a fright, and I’m sure I look like a hot mess.
Rock. Bottom.
What if someone from the press was lurking around out here to capture that? I’d have Aiden all over the news for all the wrong things. I’d embarrass myself and him. The last thing I want to do is go back in there, but I can’t be out in public like this.
Clearly, Aiden was too wrapped up in his compulsion to notice the way I left. Maybe I can sneak in without being seen.
Unlikely.
Oh, the horror I feel at this moment. I’ve been at rock bottom, or so I thought, but this doesn’t feel much better. This is embarrassment personified. I was mistaken for a homeless person. Albeit by a woman whose glasses were thicker than my hips, and her age is likely three times higher than mine, but still.
I’m losing control. The longer I keep this secret bottled up inside me, the worse it’s going to be when my house of cards comes crumbling down.
I have to come clean. I have to tell Aiden the truth. The question is, when?
Do I do it before the charity event? Or after?
So many decisions need to be made, but I know without a doubt, I can’t keep this up.
My days with Aiden are numbered, and that makes me want to cry more than anything. I’ve enjoyed being with him again, and I don’t doubt that when the truth of who I am is revealed, I’ll lose much more than this job.
I’ll lose Aiden.
Again.
27
AIDEN
Sunday came too quickly.
Now I’m back on the ice, playing game three against the Bulldogs.
