Page 35 of Replacing My Ex


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At six months, my stomach went from barely there to about three times the size. That’s why I have an emergency appointment with my doctor later today. Because no matter how much I tell my husband that pregnancy is different for everyone and that this is perfectly normal, he won’t listen.

Apart from that, he’s taken to reading any and everything he gets his hands on when it comes to pregnancy, but get this, he doesn’t read modern science; all his books are from the late eighteen hundreds or some other archaic period because, according to him those people gave birth without all the bullshit we have today. They also had polio and bubonic plague, but he didn’t appreciate me reminding him of that.

I thought he left to take care of business because that’s what he said when I kicked him out of my bed. “Dad, let me call him and see what’s going on.”

“I wouldn’t bother; I should’ve known something was going on, considering how close the two of them got after the wedding. I just wish she would’ve told me something.”

“I’m sorry, Dad.” We hung up, and I sat there in a stupor, which seems to be the norm these days when it comes to my husband. Dad was right, though; I guess I should wait until he got here to find out what was going on.

What am I going to do with this man? He’s too damn much with his nonsense. For starters, everyone goes on about big engagement rings, but have you ever tried wearing a six-carat diamond set in platinum on your finger all day, every day? And you can’t take it off while you bake because the crazy person you’re married to says it’s disrespectful not to wear it to the grave? I didn’t even know jewelry could be this heavy until I met him.

Last week, he made them change the nursery for the third time; something about not enough sunlight, so they needed to knock down another wall. The damn thing is almost as big as our suite of rooms. It’s like he finds stuff to worry about.

Even Joy has taken to hiding out when she sees him coming because all he ever wants to do is nag and threaten people over a child that’s not even here yet. Poor Joy made the mistake of telling him one day that his ‘son might be his ‘daughter’ and he went on a tirade about not having any girls and how much of a pain in the ass she was, and he’s not doing that shit again.

When she reminded him that it was the man who determined the sex, he acted like she’d cursed his whole life. Now she’s taken to buying stuffed animals for little girls, and he’s going mental over it. I can’t; I just can’t.

Heaven forbid I mention something in passing or even look in a store window, and the next thing I know, I own that thing, whatever it is. I have to watch every word I say to Angel because she’s his little snitch. Every word I say to her, as long as it’s about something I want for the baby or me, he hears about five minutes after I get off the phone with her.

I wonder… can’t be. Last night we talked about what I planned on doing with the bakery in the last months of pregnancy and the months after. I made the mistake of sharing my fears of my recipes being stolen with him, and I’m almost certain that’s why he abducted my grandmother. She’s the only one other than myself who knows my base recipes since most of them came from her.

I don’t have time to think about it now though because the doctor was kind enough to fit me in last minute and I can’t miss this appointment. I didn’t tell him about the appointment because, quite frankly, he makes us both nuts when we go there together.

I got dressed and left the house where only the staff was in attendance because Joy was at school and my husband was out kidnapping the elderly. There was no way to get around my security detail because I think they have some kind of tracking device planted on me somewhere. How else would you explain the fact that they always seem to know when I’m about to leave the house?

As I already knew, there was nothing wrong with me and the baby, but at least I had the doctor’s word to take back to my husband. I walked out of her office, looking forward to going home and making myself some fresh bread to slather with fresh butter; that’s what I felt like eating.

My head was down as I typed on my phone when I heard my name being called from a distance. “Mandy!” I looked around at the sound but didn’t see anyone I knew among the sea of people milling around on the street until this overweight gentleman came running up to me.

“It is you.” The person reached out to touch my arm, but I pulled back.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s me, Dan.” He looked down at my tummy, and his face changed.

“You’re pregnant.” He said it like an accusation. I was still trying to find the person I knew in this mess that stood in front of me.

“Dan?” I almost asked what happened to him, but the truth is I really didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have time.”

“Who is it? Who did you cheat on me with?” He had tears in his eyes. “You…. How could you do this to me? You had a baby with someone else?”

“Dan, where did you run off to? Who’s this? One of your students?”

Oh great, that's just what I needed. I turned to face the newcomer and came face to face with Cecile and Deidre, along with the little boy who had grown a lot. Cecile glared at me, and then her eyes fell on my stomach.

“You’re pregnant? You lied to us? You little bitch.” She stepped closer while her son cried, and Deidre looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. None of them looked good. In just under two years, these three people had changed so much that it was hard to even recognize them.

Dan was twice the size he was when I left, Cecile had aged at least fifteen years, and Deidre looked a bit haggard. “I think she’s rich. Look at her hand; look at all that jewelry she’s wearing.”

“It’s my son’s money; you owe us after what you did.”

“I don’t owe you anything. Now get out of my way.”

“Oh, you think you’re better than us, but I know the law. I’ll have my lawyer draw up papers to take that baby away. You got pregnant while you were married to my son, so the baby is still his.”

“I was divorced for a whole year before I got pregnant, ma’am.” Has she always been this stupid? It’s so weird. I went out of my way to avoid these people all this time because of some unknown fear, but now that it had happened, I felt nothing but joy that I had escaped this hell.

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