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I believed him because I needed to. There was no one I could turn to. I couldn’t tell my family and friends about this, not yet. I felt so stupid, but worse alone. The person I turned to for comfort and solace was the one who had gutted me.
I cried every day as soon as Dan walked out the door and lived on pins and needles until he came back home. That first week, I didn’t leave the house and didn’t answer the phone. I spent my days trying to be the perfect wife. It was as if I were in competition with myself.
I had to get everything just right because one wrong move and he might leave me. I walked on eggshells of my own making. At night we’d sit down at the table together, having dinner and talking like old times, ignoring the hippopotamus in the room.
Two weeks later, I fell and hit my head while at work and was rushed to the hospital. I was dehydrated and didn’t know it, and that’s what brought on the dizzy spell that took me down. Dan was there when I woke up, holding my hand as he read something on his phone.
For the first few seconds, I forgot the hell that my life had become. “Hi!” I smiled at him and saw the look of surprise on his face as he, too, broke into a smile. You see, I hadn’t smiled at him in a while, not since the day he told me. When your betrayed wife cries during and after sex, you pretty much know she’s not in the mood to smile.
It didn’t take long for it all to come rushing back, and when it did, I fought to hold onto that smile because this was my best friend. How do I separate these two? The cheating husband from the friend who’d held my hand through thick and thin.
He leaned over and kissed me, and I accepted his tongue in my mouth and his hand on my nipple. We’d been getting friskier lately, doing things we didn’t do even in our youth. We heard the nurse coming and pulled apart just in time to be decent, but I didn’t miss the bulge in my husband’s pants.
I was released and sent home and we decided that Dan would drive me to work the next day where my car had been left. As we drove with the windows down and the wind in my hair, my breath became choppy as my heartbeat accelerated.
“Pull off on the next side road we pass.” All around us were cornfields on both sides. We knew this area well since we’d grown up here and had planned to spend the rest of our lives together here. Before he could even make the turn, I was unzipping him. “Shit, Mandy.”
I licked his cockhead, sipping the little bead of precum from the tip before taking him into my mouth. I sucked him to full hardness, and by the time he pulled into one of the fields, I was raising my skirt and pushing my panties down off my hips.
I straddled him in the twilight that descended upon us and took his length deep in me. He tore the buttons of my silk blouse and pushed my bra up under my chin so he could suck my nipple into his mouth. I rocked harder on his cock as I came with a scream and kept going.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming.” In my head, I was thinking, I bet she never made you cum this hard or this fast, but I couldn’t say those words out loud. I was too ashamed. “What has gotten into you?” He grinned as I slid off of him and got back in my seat.
“Should we stop and pick up something to eat or do you prefer delivery?”
“Let’s get something delivered.” You see, we were having a normal conversation like usual; nothing had changed, nothing needed to change.
How wrong I was about that. But I’m getting ahead of myself. That night we ate pizza and drank beer like we used to in college and then fucked like bunnies for the rest of the night. Had I known that night would be the last night of peace I’d have in that house, I maybe would’ve done things a little bit differently.
AMANDA
The next evening, when I got home from work, Dan was already there waiting, which I knew meant something was wrong. “What’s going on?” His mom walked out of the kitchen, and my stomach started cramping.
“We’re going to meet Deidre.”
“Who?”
“The woman who’s having my grandchild, who else?” Had my mother-in-law always hated me, and I didn’t know it? Why is she being so harsh and downright hostile? Can’t she see that I’m doing my best here?
“Why? I don’t understand. Did something happen?” I was surprised that my voice worked because it felt as though there was a bolder lodged in my throat.
“Nothing happened; we need to get together and decide about custody and whatnot.”
I looked at Dan, and once again, he was looking flustered.
“And when was this decided?”
“I talked to Deidre this morning and set it up. Now Amanda, no theatrics. I had to promise that you would be on your best behavior. I would’ve done it sooner, but you were in the hospital, and my son said it wouldn’t be fair to do it without you.”
That’s something, I guess. I don’t even remember walking to the car or getting in. I barely paid attention to the conversation mother and son had in the front seats while I sat in the back, watching the world go by.
I wanted to cry, but I knew if Cecile saw one tear in my eye, she might leave me on the side of the road. I felt like throwing up when Dan pulled into the parking lot of a diner about half an hour outside of town.
I needed help to walk to the door of the diner. I wasn’t even aware that Dan released my hand as soon as she came into view. I braced myself, not sure what I was expecting. I felt like a child again, that scared little girl who was always afraid of the monsters under my bed.
She was pretty, very pretty, and young. She didn’t look like a homewrecker; she looked like your average yuppie princess with her wavy blonde hair down to her shoulders and pouty lips. I don’t know why I noticed that little detail, but her lips were full and pouty, not like mine, which were almost nonexistent.
I fell into the booth more than sat because my legs had taken me as far as they were willing to go for now. I couldn’t look at her, and yet I found it hard to look away. I thought she would be some bombshell of a woman with a body that men would drool over, but instead, she was just ordinary-looking, except for her lips, which were very alluring, I guess.
