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“But I also know you care deeply about Amaya and that you’re worried about her,” I say. “So are we. You’re well aware of our relationship dynamic.”
“I am, yes,” Mira replies. “As long as she’s happy, I’m happy.”
“I appreciate that, I really do,” I tell her. “Elias would’ve come down to meet you for this conversation, but I feel like I can contribute more to it, given the situation.”
“Because you and Amaya already have some history,” Mira says.
“Yes.” I offer a smile to further ease her into the delicate topic. “Mira, we have feelings for her. Deep feelings. The kind of feelings we’ve never truly experienced with other women before. I’m sure you can agree when I say that Amaya is one of the most incredible women I’ve ever met.”
“Oh, you bet your ass she is that and so much more,” she replies, then takes a sip of her sparkling water. She starts cutting into her steak with steady and precise movements while I swirl my fork around my plate of pasta. I don’t have much of an appetite, anyway. “Kace, like you said, I’m worried about her. I wouldn’t have agreed to this meeting, otherwise.”
“What can I do to help? How can I make this right?” I ask.
“Thing is… Amaya took a long time to recover after that disastrous relationship with Derrick. I begged her to leave him because he wasn’t good for her, but that’s Amaya, you know? She keeps giving second and third and more chances even though she knows it won’t get any better. She clings to hope. Well, she clung to hope, anyway. Not anymore. It’s just that she picked the worst time to walk away from a situation.”
“I don’t understand what happened,” I say. “I tried to get her to talk to me about it. We were good, Mira. I swear. We were building something.”
“And she was happy,” Mira exhales sharply. “God, she’s going to kill me for even coming to see you.”
“I won’t tell if you won’t.”
“It’s not about that. It’s about what I know. And I fear that if I don’t intervene, if I don’t do the one thing I promised her I would never do, she’ll make the biggest mistake of her life, and nobody’s gonna be able to save her.”
Concern tightens in the back of my throat as I lean forward, ever so slightly. “What are you trying to tell me, Mira?”
“That’s the thing. She wouldn’t tell me why she quit, but I could tell from her voice that it was serious. And I’ve been waiting and hoping for her to do the right thing by you, now that you were together again. And Mikey deserves—” she stops herself, eyes widening with a sudden burst of paralyzing fear. “Oh, dammit!”
“Oh, dammit, what?” I calmly reply.
Mira thinks about it for a moment, her gaze darting all over the restaurant as she tries to gather herself, as she tries to find the right words to tell me something I was already suspecting. Elias and Finn have been saying it, as well.
“Amaya has a way of being foolishly stubborn, sometimes. And the wounds that Derrick left her have only made her even more stubborn. She wants to do everything by herself. Everything. Even when she doesn’t have to, even when there are better and healthier ways,” Mira says. “That one-night thing that you two had six years ago…”
“Mikey,” I say with a slight nod. “I asked her. She said he’s not mine.”
“She lied.”
I laugh lightly. “I guess I sort of knew from the moment I first saw him. He’s mine, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
My heart fills with the kind of joy I’ve been afraid to let myself feel ever since I shook the little guy’s hand. Of course, he’s mine. I could see myself in his eyes, in his curly blonde hair. I could see a version of myself in him, hopefully a better one. “And why did she lie to me?” I ask.
“Amaya’s afraid. She thought you’d be upset. That you might wanna sue her for custody. That everything she built up to this moment would crumble,” Mira replies. “I had my doubts. I still do.”
“I would never do anything to harm her or Mikey,” I say.
I absolutely want to get to know my son, I want to spend more time with him. I want her and our son in our lives, for good. Pain and joy burn through me in equal measure, and it’s hard for me to keep track of all the thoughts currently going through my head. “Never. If Amaya doesn’t want me to be a part of their lives, I would absolutely respect that. We didn’t plan for a child. Yet she carried him, she gave birth to him, and she spent the past five years raising him. I can’t take any of that away from her. I wouldn’t.”
And it’s the truth. As much as it hurts, it’s the truth.
Mira eyes me intently, scanning my face, likely trying to figure out whether I’m being honest. “She’s afraid, Kace. And when she’s afraid, her reasoning jumps out the window. I get her, I know where she’s coming from. Her first instinct is to fight, not to run. So whatever it is that made her run this time, it’s got to be serious.”
“You said you’re going to see her later tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe she’ll tell you.”
