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I give her a long look, the words tied around my tongue as tears work their way up to my eyes. “I think I just need a hug,” I manage, already sobbing. “This is so incredibly fucked up.”
Tanya wraps her arms around me and we sit together on the edge of my bed for a while. I let it all out in waves of warm tears streaming down my cheeks. My frustrations. My fears. My anxiety. It’s too much happening at once and happening too soon. Emotionally, I’m a wreck.
It’s bad enough that I haven’t told Kace about Mikey yet. Now, I have another baby to tell him about. To tell him, Finn and Elias, for that matter. And where do I stand with a bun in the oven, as far as they’re concerned? Is this where things end? Will I be abandoned? Rejected?
I shake the thoughts away. I will not become a dependent woman they feel bound to by duty and nothing else. I don’t want that.
The truth is, I’m at an impasse, in every possible way. I’m feeling a multitude of emotions and I’m unsure how to deal with them.
Whether or not they sell the estate to Ramada, I’m no longer sure I’ll be able to build a beautiful life here. I can’t possibly accept anything from the guys simply because I’m pregnant by one of them. I can’t accept things from Kace because of Mikey, either. My pride won’t allow it.
I have no idea what I’m going to do.
18
Finn
“What were you thinking?” I ask Kace.
After a whole day’s worth of mulling over the issue with Ramada, Elias and I have finally managed to cool our jets to a point where we can address it with him in a calm and private environment. Our joint office, to be specific.
“You blindsided us,” Elias says as we sit around the conference table, coffee and pastries on a platter in the center. “You didn’t mention that Ramada had put in a bid for the estate.”
“I didn’t even consider it worthy of my attention since we have no intention of selling, whatsoever,” Kace replies, as cool as a cucumber.
“Fair enough, but now I’m getting calls from the estate’s board of directors. You know they have a say in this as well. Ramada is quite the gloater, staking her claim without any basis and in public. You do also realize that Amaya heard the whole thing, right?”
“She heard about our prospective project with Derrick too, for that matter,” Elias grumbles, visibly displeased. “Ramada’s got a mouth on her and then some.”
Kace exhales sharply as he pours himself a cup of hot coffee. “Listen, we agreed we’d play along with Derrick, Ramada, and Leon for a very specific purpose. We didn’t loop Amaya into it because it’s our game, our strategy, and it’s meant to yield a long-term benefit.”
“We told her we wouldn’t do it,” I remind him. “Then we go ahead and do it, and on top of that, she has to hear about how Ramada is suddenly interested in taking over the estate. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s going through Amaya’s head. No wonder she got sick. Dehydration, my ass.”
“Hey, she’s the one who isn’t picking up or returning our texts,” Kace snaps.
“Don’t be a child,” Elias replies bluntly. “We all know about her contentious past with Derrick. Hell, we’re the ones who threatened him with a permanent ban if he didn’t leave her alone. And now we’re considering a business deal with him?”
“And that is precisely why it’s important for Amaya to know as little about this collaboration as possible,” Kace says.
On one hand, I agree and understand. We’re setting a plan in motion but it won’t make sense to Amaya until we accomplish our endgame.
I still don’t agree with how relaxed Kace is while Ramada is literally sucking up to our board of directors in order to get her bid on the executive table, especially since we are not selling the estate. Nor would we sell it to someone like Ramada Chesterfield. She’d run it into the ground in less than a year with how little she cares and knows about the actual business management side of things.
“I’m worried about Amaya,” I say. “She looked so pale yesterday.”
“Tanya said she’s okay,” Kace replies. But I can tell he’s just as concerned.
“Maybe we could push the envelope just a bit more. I get that she’s used to her newly acquired independence and that she’s been let down in the past, but I do want us to go all in for her.”
“And we will,” Elias says. “But we still need to respect her need for space when she asks for it.”
Kace nods in agreement. “She’ll come to us when she’s ready, just like before.”
“I guess.” I hate it.
I’m the steadier type, despite my tendency to bounce from flower to flower. When it’s strictly physical, I don’t give a damn. I’m a gentleman all the way through, and I respect my own limits as well as hers.
With Amaya, it’s different. The three of us have fallen for her. Head over heels. It’s deeper and more intense than anything we’ve dealt with before.
