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I shake my head and keep looking at his shoes. I guess he didn’t take them off before we threw ourselves on the bed.
A second later, one of his hands lets go of my wrist and places itself gently under my chin. I should fight, but the minute he touches me, everything caves in. I have no fight.
This has to end. I guess it is better to end it all before he invades my life more, and then I won’t want to let him go.
My head lifts with his hand, and our eyes meet. He lets out a breath. The concern is still present, but there’s a mix of relief in there. I’m no longer fighting against his motion, and the thought of throwing myself into his arms is almost too strong to bear.
I need to do this for both of us. It just might hurt like a bitch.
The opposite is also true. He could accept me fully, but I fight the thought. If I give myself hope, then the likely outcome will hurt worse than I can even imagine.
His hand leaves my chin, and he runs a soft thumb across my cheek. He isn’t wiping away a tear; I know that. But it means he wants to comfort me. The tension weighing heavy on my shoulders collapses to the floor. I take a breath.
“Oliver, I need to tell you something,” I say shakily, but I know he hears me. His expression morphs into intense focus. “I’m trans.”
It’s out.
I open my mouth to tell him everything, but nothing comes out. I’m already spiraling, and the words might just come out a jumbled mess. I’m still not ready to tell him everything. I’m not ready to make this all a reality, one where we are back at the start with no idea how to move forward. Forming an attachment to this place is the worst idea, maybe even worse than what’s happening before me.
I could fall to the floor, but Oliver was still holding my face with one hand and my wrist with the other.
The wait for an answer is killing me, but I can’t take my gaze away from him. Oliver knits his brow together before looking over my body for a second.
I’m not even sure Oliver knows what a trans woman is. I’ve explained the very concept of being trans to people too many times to be happy about it.
Oliver’s expression doesn’t change. He holds the same level of focus as his eyes rake over every little feature of my face.
Is he looking for any chance that I was joking?
He nods before taking his hand away from my cheek. This is when he walks away, and I’m left all alone.
Before I can even react, he threads his fingers through the hair at the back of my head and pulls me forward, crashing his lips to mine.
I kiss him back as his mouth devours mine further. His spare arm lets go of my wrist, wraps itself around my waist, and pulls me into his body. I don’t know what to do with my hands, so they find their way around his neck.
My feet slightly lift off the floor. All that touches the carpet are my toes, but all my weight fades. Oliver is practically lifting me, with no problem, with just one powerful arm around me.
His tongue glides over my lips. My mouth parts slightly at the presence, and he pushes the rest into my mouth.
A moan erupts from me. I shudder against his embrace, my breasts pushing into his chest now. A growl leaves his lips, causing me to shudder again.
“Oliver,” I pant against him as he breaks our contact and kisses the corner of my mouth and jawline.
He makes his way down, trailing kisses and heat down to my neck. Every place he kisses leaves me wanting his mouth to remain there forever. Oliver attacks my neck with an open kiss, sinking his teeth into my flesh.
I let out a gasp that turns into a throaty moan, vibrating my neck against his mouth. “Oliver…what are you…doing?”
He removes himself from my throat, almost getting a protest from me before I realize I asked him a question. His head remains at the crook of my neck, his lips mere inches away.
The urge to tell him never mind and to continue yells in my mind.
Have a little self-control, Sally.
“I’m kissing a pretty girl.” My mind goes blank as he places a little peck, unlike the bites he gave before. “What are you doing?”
This time, he turns his head and looks up. With a quick motion, his face leaves my neck, and he places his forehead flush against mine. “Do you want to stop?”
I quickly shake my head. “I’m just confused because I just told you I’m trans, and you don’t even have questions.”
