Page 16 of Finding My Name


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The voice that comes next makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand like pins and needles. “Hey, girlie, are you okay?” I don’t recognize the voice. Feminine with a playful drawl. It’s not light like Mimi’s or hearty like Ella’s. Much more feminine than my raspy voice from years of keeping testosterone away from my vocal cords.

The heaving is done, but now my mind is spiraling as I stare into the mirror. I didn’t pay attention to who was in the gas station.

The fluorescent light doesn't help much, but my eyes rake over every feature of my body. My long-sleeve crop top, pastel-purple skirt, and a white lace choker. My makeup is still in shape. I decided to wear a full face during the trip, which was criticized by my sisters—mostly Ella, who said, “Travel makeup is no makeup.” Mimi was less vocal, but she likes more natural makeup while I went with a full beat of dark-pink lipstick and glitter eyeshadow.

Another knock comes. “Hey, are you alive in there?”

I open the door slowly, revealing a girl two inches shorter than me with long, dark hair and tan skin. She’s wearing a yellow crop top and dark-wash denim shorts. She’s rocking the surfer-girl look.

Ella stares at the back of her head warily.

“Good!” she cheers, looking at me with a smile. “I thought for a second I’d have to call someone. Are you okay?”

My voice comes out just above a whisper. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

She nods and then turns to my sisters. “You guys aren’t from around here, are you?”

Just like that, my fear quells. If she knows I’m trans, she’s not saying anything.

“No,” Ella answers. “We’re just here on a brief trip.”

“Oh, I love taking road trips with my friends. I need to get the boys and Piper to come out more often.” She chuckles.

“My family likes to travel when we can,” I say, but this causes the girl to turn to me with confusion in her eyes.

Oh.

She definitely doesn’t think Mimi and Ella are my sisters.

“Sisters.” I point between my sisters and myself.

She looks at us a few more times and opens her mouth. She wants to ask, but the next thing she says catches me off guard. “If you guys are new, you should come to the cove fire tonight.”

I step out of the bathroom as Leon pops into the conversation.

“What’s that?”

The girl gives me another look, so I say, “Brother.”

“It’s a little Friday tradition for tourists and townies to get together on the cove between Sandalwood Beach and Rixon Shore. We make a big bonfire in the middle, and there are kegs for people just to have fun.”

Her attention shifts back to me, wanting an answer, and I recoil, like the longer she looks at me, the sooner she’ll truly see me, and I’ll have to explain my whole existence to a complete stranger. I shouldn’t have to, and Ella reminds me every day I don’t owe anyone anything, but it’s in my nature to make myself smaller for other people to understand.

“We’re tired from the drive, so maybe next Friday,” Ella answers for me, which causes the girl to frown, but a second later, she smiles.

“I’ll hold you to it. I love introducing newbies to the fun parts of Alliance.” A ping noise comes from her denim pocket. She takes out her phone before her eyes widen slightly. “I actually gotta run. I’m Casey, by the way. Casey Gutierrez.” She doesn’t stop walking backward toward the exit while speaking, but she stops at the door. “By the way, your eyeshadow is really pretty!”

And like that, she is gone…and without even getting our names.

Thirty minutes later—and no panic attacks—we arrive at my childhood home. Scratch that; I might have another attack right now because looking at this house is making me dizzy.

Everything looks the same, just a little older. More cracks in the wood, the door’s white paint is starting to chip, and a little ‘Welcome Home’ rug covered in leaves lays on the porch.

Suddenly, a hand takes mine into it, and I fight the urge to pull away. My eyes snap to see Leon giving me a small smile. “You ready, sis?”

“No, but I can’t stand here all day.”

“You can stand here as long as you want.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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