Page 104 of Finding My Name


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But if this means closing the door, what does that mean for Oliver and me? We promised to end this when summer ended, but I also didn’t think we’d sleep together. The thought causes my stomach to flip for a completely different reason from before.

Shooing the thought away, I unfold the paper.

Dear Simon,

Today, you’re fourteen or maybe fifteen years old. Last year was the first year I didn’t think about you on a constant basis. That makes me sound like an awful mother, doesn’t it? A mother shouldn’t forget her son’s birthday or how old they are. The years used to feel so long, but then three years went by in a flash. I must be the worst mom in the world, and you probably hate us still. I’m not sure if we deserve to be forgiven, but it would make me feel better. Do you know how much it’s messed with my head thinking I’ve messed up your life in a way that can’t be healed? Maybe I am the worst mother. Your father doesn’t like talking about it, so I can’t really talk about these feelings with him. Every time I try, he reverts back to before that day, and I can’t lose the man I love again.

Heat pricks the backs of my eyes, but I rub them raw to take away any wetness gathering around. I refuse to cry for them anymore. Christina was afraid of losing the love of her life, and I understand the sentiment.

But that also meant she had to forget me and harm me in a way that I’m still healing from. Maybe I’ll never heal from it. I’ll just learn to move on. The start of me feeling unworthy of love started with them and continued with Dalton.

I might be unworthy of it, but I also wanted to cling to the remnants forming around me with my true family, my found family, and Oliver.

“What is happening here?”

My head snaps to see Oliver as he looks around the patio and sees all the tables. I barely have time to catch my breath before he marches across the space and stands in front of me.

My grip tightens on the letter, crushing it into a ball in my palm.

Oliver stares down at me with a hard expression, but it quickly softens. He whispers, “Why do you look like you’re about to cry?”

Fuckity fuck, I didn’t want him to see the little bit of weakness from Christina’s words.

I bite my lip. “Nothing, Ollie. Just a little bit of sand from the beach blew in my eyes.”

He gives me a suspicious look but drops it. “What’s going on with the…garage sale? Can it be called that if it’s not in a garage?”

With that, I motion to all the items, and right on time, a lady picks out one of the picture frames and hands money to Piper.

Oliver turns back to me with brows raised. Piper makes eye contact with me and winces before running back inside.

“Sally,” he whispers when my eyes drop to the floor. “What is all of this?”

“I hated the idea of you giving up. You came home exhausted the past couple of days, and it feels like you are giving up on your dreams. It hurts, Oliver, and if it hurts me, I can’t even imagine what it’s doing to you. So, I got people together and organized this sale to raise money for you.”

My eyes finally drag up his body to see his jaw tick at my words. I knew the idea of people helping him would be upsetting, but I’m not going to back down.

“I told you I had it handled.”

“You shouldn’t have to handle everything alone. Let people help you like you help them. Do you even know how easy it was to set this up and sell these things?”

Oliver drops his head, but the frown doesn’t leave his lips. “I want to be mad right now, but when you say it like that, I’d feel like an asshole.”

“You would be an asshole if you yelled at me. I might be okay with that in the bedroom, but definitely not in public. I might cry.”

His eyes flare at my insinuation. “Are we adding a new kink to the roster? Anything else you want to add?”

“I’m sure we can figure it out.” I give him a little wiggle of my brow with a smirk.

“Sally,” he hisses before turning toward the bar. “Piper, can you handle whatever this is for the rest of the night?”

“What? Oliver, I can’t just leave this to everyone. It was my idea.”

Piper pops her head out. “We’ll clean it all up. Have a good night.”

My mouth gapes open. “Oliver, no, I need to stay and help.”

Before I can argue more, Oliver sweeps around me, picking my body up like a feather and tossing me over his broad shoulder.

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