AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Nobody had told Diana how terrifying it was to be a mother. When Valentina came into the world, everything shifted for Diana. She struggled to trust anyone. This was their third nanny, as Diana had fired the others, thinking they were after Diana and Ryan’s fame and not truly interested in Valentina’s health and safety. Ryan thought she was crazy.
At ten, the current nanny was supposed to arrive to take over with Valentina so that Diana could meet Ryan at the restaurant. But ten o’clock came and went without her appearance. Ryan texted Diana angrily, asking where she was. Unsure of what to do—and reminding herself she was a mother above all—she loaded up Valentina’s stroller and wheeled it a few blocks away.
When Diana appeared at the restaurant with Valentina, everyone was overjoyed. Ryan lifted her up and bounced her as she giggled, and the director doted on her, complimenting her curls and her smile. It was no surprise that Valentina was a gorgeous baby. She was Ryan March’s child, through and through, with very few of Diana’s genes, if any. Diana thought this was tremendously rude on the part of the universe. Hadn’t she been the one to carry the baby for ten long months?
The director tickled Valentina’s arm and looked at Ryan with a look Diana knew well. In fact, she already guessed what he was going to say before he said it.
“We have to put her on TV,” he said. “You could feed the food you make to her. The viewers would love it.”
Diana’s heart seized with worry. She watched Ryan very carefully, praying he remembered their deal.
Instead, Ryan’s face burst into a smile. “Wouldn’t they just love her?”
“It’s crazy that you’ve kept the baby of Ryan and Diana a secret all this time,” the director declared.
“She isn’t a secret!” Diana cried.
The director blinked dully at Diana, who was often the only one pushing back on his ideas. He thought he was brilliant, and Ryan thought he was, too. That often left Diana in the dark.
“I mean, everyone saw me pregnant on television,” Diana stated. “Ryan even announced the pregnancy.”
“That was years ago,” the director said, as though she’d forgotten. “People don’t have good attention spans or memories. You know that.”
Diana balked and clutched the handles of Valentina’s stroller. “I told you. I won’t put Valentina on television.”
The light behind Ryan’s eyes dimmed.
“Diana, listen to reason. It’s only a matter of time before she becomes public,” the director said. “Don’t you want to show her off on your own terms rather than some tabloids?”
Diana flared her nostrils. “She’s too young to say if she wants this or not. I won’t have her being another ‘child star’ or whatever. It’s not fair to her.”
She felt so heated, as though steam came out of her ears.
“Let’s just talk about it a little bit more,” Ryan said. “We can keep the conversation open.”
“The conversation is closed, Ryan,” Diana blared.
And then, Ryan rolled his eyes at her right in front of the entire crew and the director. Diana felt terribly small.
Before either of them could say anything else, Diana jumped forward, took Valentina back into her arms, turned on her heel, and fled the restaurant. In a flash, she was back on the sidewalk, walking manically toward their apartment. Germans swarmed around her, speaking a language she didn’t understand, and tears filled her eyes. She felt so far from home. So far from anyone who’d ever understood her. In her arms, Valentina babbled happily and sucked her thumb.
“It’s okay, baby,” Diana breathed. “I’m going to take care of you.”
It amazed Diana to learn that Ryan thought she would “eventually come around.” She learned from a producer later that Ryan had been talking about bringing Valentina on-air for many months at that point. It always seemed like a matter of time.
Did Ryan think Diana was weak? Did he think he could walk all over her?
Furious, Diana threw her belongings into her suitcase, packed up Valentina’s things, and hailed a cab outside. “Airport, please,” she said, holding Valentina close. She would buy a ticket as soon as she got there. She would be home by tomorrow. She had to stay strong.
When the airplane landed in Los Angeles, her newly chosen home, light spilled over the horizon and cast the city in buttercream. Diana didn’t bother to turn on her phone and felt completely free, wheeling Valentina’s stroller through the airport to get her bag and hail a cab. By the time the cab pulled into their home in Santa Monica, Diana was beginning to forget about the European nightmare she’d just experienced. She was thinking about cooking herself an elaborate meal. She was reminded of just how hungry she really was.
Their answering machine was filled with messages. Diana watched it, blinking angrily as she set to work on dinner. She could feel Ryan’s anger emanating from the machine, infecting her, so she eventually just deleted all the messages without listening to them. This felt freeing.
Like the good mother she was, Diana read Valentina a bedtime story that night and put her to bed without a problem. She then sat out on the veranda overlooking the ocean with a glass of wine on the porch table and a book waiting for her next to it. Her mind felt blank and happy. She dared to believe that she’d never met Ryan. That she’d never allowed such chaos to enter her life.
Maybe she and Valentina could start over somewhere else.
After Diana and Valentina returned home, Ryan didn’t reach out. It was hard to imagine what he was up to. But because his life was so public, Diana soon learned what had happened.
