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“There she is, my darling,” Ryan said, pressing a kiss to her cheek and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “How was your walk?”
Ryan’s nose curled. “You smell fishy.” He dropped his face closer to hers and said, “You ate something, didn’t you? Something delicious?”
Diana shivered in his embrace. There was an edge to his voice that suggested it wasn’t entirely okay that she’d eaten without him—or at all. Her waistline was a part of their brand’s fate. He didn’t have to say it aloud to make it so.
“I walked for a very long time,” Diana said, careful not to look at the producer across the table. “It’s a wonderful city. I could explore for days and days.”
“She’s a curious one,” Ryan said to the producer before beckoning the server to bring them another round of sake. “Let’s celebrate some more, shall we? It’s been ages since I had a damn good time.”
Hours later, Diana and Ryan returned to their hotel suite. Ryan was boisterous and laughing, and he fell on the bed with a big smile on his face. Diana had drunk a few sakes, as well, and she was suddenly overwhelmed by her love for him and how beautiful the life they’d built together really was. She fell onto the bed beside him and kissed his cheek, his lips, his eyebrow. They’d been married for an entire year. And she was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to do what came next.
She wanted a baby.
It was the first time she’d brought it up, even though it had been quivering beneath the surface of her mind for a long time. All her life, she’d wanted a child. For a while, she’d assumed she wouldn’t have enough money or time to actually raise one—perhaps ever, due to the horrific rates most chefs were paid and the sixteen-hour workdays. More than that, she’d never thought anyone would love her enough to marry her.
But, by a stroke of luck, Diana had been given everything at once. She had an incredible career, a handsome husband, and enough money and time to have a baby.
“You want a what?” Ryan asked, arching his eyebrow.
“Come on,” Diana said, pretending to laugh. “Don’t act like it’s such a crazy thing to want. Millions of babies are born every year. And we have money and time.”
Ryan’s cheek twitched. He looked deep in thought.
“We’ll be done with the television show in a month,” Diana said. “And we don’t technically have anything arranged for next year yet. Maybe we could take a year off and film again in 2008.”
Ryan furrowed his brow and wrapped her up in his arms. “Why don’t we start trying now?”
Diana’s heart leaped into her throat. “Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
Ryan kissed her with such passion that she forgot every doubt she’d ever had.
It was insane to Diana how quickly it happened. Just three weeks later, she took a pregnancy test and learned she was expecting.
She was alone in the hotel suite with tears running down her cheeks. Out the window, the clouds parted over the skyscrapers and drenched the city with light. She picked up the hotel phone and dialed Ryan’s cell, but it rang and rang without his answer. He’d gone out with the producers again. She imagined him in a dark bar somewhere, laughing in that singular way of his. She imagined him a year from now, cradling their baby, perhaps in Los Angeles. Perhaps they would finally have time and space to breathe again. After all, that was what a baby needs: time. Schedules. You had to put everything else aside for them. And there was such beauty in that.
Ryan got home a little before midnight. Diana was ecstatic, throwing herself toward him to hug him and sputtering with the news. He looked so happy when he learned—even happier than when they’d gotten the news that theirs was the number-one show on the Cooking Channel. Even happier than when they’d met Tom Hanks, and he’d complimented their food.
“We’re going to be so happy,” Ryan told her, folding himself around her as they fell asleep that night. “Everything is going to be perfect.”
The next day, they went to a Japanese restaurant near the seaside to film one of the final cooking sessions of the current iteration of their television show. Diana bubbled through the early hours, laughing and joking with the makeup artists and smiling at Ryan. It felt as though they shared a secret. Normally, their entire lives were on display for everyone to see. She was so tired of it.
They worked alongside a tremendous Japanese chef to make fresh sushi. The chef was diligent and precise, showing the viewers at home exactly where to slice the fish for best practices. Ryan was confident with him, asking him a series of questions as they assembled the sushi side by side.
“My son and I make sushi for the family,” the chef said. His accent wasn’t very thick, and he was good on camera. This wasn’t his first rodeo. “We wake up very early and fish together to get the very best.”
“That’s remarkable,” Ryan said, flashing him a smile. “And it reminds me of something. Something the viewers at home need to know.”
Ryan set down his knife and smiled at the camera. “For the past almost two years, Diana and I have entrusted you with the intricacies of our lives. We’ve gone all over the world together, learning from dynamic chefs and eating some of the most tremendous meals. It has meant the world.” He swallowed. “And now, I want to share the next part of our journey.”
Horribly, Ryan reached for Diana’s hand and held it so that the camera could see.
“Diana and I are expecting our first child,” he said, his eyes glinting with tears. “We couldn’t be happier to take this next step. And we’re so grateful for your support at home and abroad.”
Although Diana wore a bright smile, her heart shattered into a thousand pieces. She felt so betrayed. Yet she knew the damage was already done. The TV producers would do what they wanted to with this news. And their fame would skyrocket.
Chapter Fifteen
