Page 530 of Talk Swoony to Me


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“No,” I answer.

“Good.” Adrian pushes the file toward me on the table and places a ballpoint pen on top. “Read it, then sign. You can begin moving your stuff in immediately.”

“That won’t take too long.” I pick up my duffel and set it right back down. “All done.”

“That’s all you have?”

“That’s all I own.”

He reaches into his back pocket and withdraws a leather wallet. I watch with wide eyes as he sifts through a bundle of cash. A bundle of hundreds, specifically.

“Here,” he says, handing me…

I count it and scoff.

“What’s this?” I ask.

“It’s an advance,” he says. “Go get yourself some clothes. You’ll need bedding, too. Stock the kitchen and bathroom with whatever you need.”

I stare at the money for far too long — the most money I’ve ever seen before in one place. The reality of my situation creeps into my gut and claws its way over my head.

“You just have three thousand dollars in your pocket?” I ask, my voice shaking.

“No. I have eight thousand dollars in my pocket.”

I can’t tell if it’s a joke. I wonder if this guy even jokes at all.

“Because ten would make it too bulgy,” I say with a chuckle, the tension in me far too tight. “I’m sorry. I… I make stupid jokes when I’m nervous.”

“Do I make you nervous?”

“No.” I swallow. “Yes.”

For the first time, Adrian smiles. “Don’t be. Your signature on this lease means that I’m the last person in the world you need to be nervous about.”

“And why is that?” I ask.

He looks me in the eye again, hard and unblinking. “You take care of me, I’ll take care of you. It’s that simple. Are we clear?”

No. None of this is clear.

Still, I nod.

He picks up the pen and holds it out. I stare at it, willing my fingers to stop trembling before taking it.

The lease is short, as brief as he’s been so far. Three-hundred and sixty-five days. 24/7 on-call medical assistance. Do not involve the authorities under any circumstances. Doing so renders the contract void. What that entails… well, it’s even briefer on that point.

I touch the pen to the paper, then pause.

“I have another dumb question,” I say.

He arches a curious brow.

“You’re not…” I gesture at his torso. “You’re not one of those snake guys, are you?” I ask.

Adrian softens his gaze, amused, his hands moving to unbutton his shirt.

I hold my breath, definitely not expecting him to just show it to me.

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