Page 416 of Talk Swoony to Me


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“You said this book wasn’t scary!”

I blink twice. “Why are you calling my room phone?”

“Because my cell is charging in the bathroom and I’m too freaked out to get up.”

“You charge your phone in the bathroom?”

“Yes,” she answers as if that’s not weird at all.

“Okay…” I check the time again. “You know it’s 2 AM, right?”

“Yeah, well, if I can’t sleep, then you shouldn’t, either!”

I chuckle. “How far into the book are you?”

“The sister just found the footsteps in the snow outside her bedroom window.”

That’s over half-way through. “Damn, you read fast,” I say, impressed.

“I can’t believe you’re making me read this!” she says, obviously on edge.

“Oh, it’s not that bad.”

She makes a noise. A small, slightly pathetic whimper. Still adorable, though.

“Paige, it’s okay.” I grab the book beside me. “I’m up reading, too, by the way.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. Why didn’t you tell me this was porn?”

She gasps. “It is not porn!”

“Paige, I know porn. I am what you’d call a connoisseur of porn and this... is porn.”

“You’re a connoisseur of porn?”

“More or less.”

“Who even admits that?” she asks, laughing hard.

“Someone trying to distract you from the man hiding in your closet.”

She gasps again. “That is not funny, Oliver!”

I laugh. “Paige?—”

“Why?! Why would you say that?”

“Because I’m an asshole. I’m sorry.”

“Dick.”

“Calm down. There’s no one there,” I say.

“Five years,” she says. “Five years I’ve stayed in countless rooms in Plazas around the world and I’ve never, ever, felt scared in my room alone until I cracked open this stupid book.”

“Are you enjoying it, at least?”

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