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“Now, I’m not at all saying you should just take the win and not complain,” I say, prefacing my words, “but… maybe it’s possible for both of those things to be true.”
“How do you mean?”
“You could be the best player for the job, but you also might not be yet. If you’re coached by… you know, one of the best quarterbacks to ever play football, then you will become the best. And I’ve seen how your dad trains his clients — he’s going to push you. Hard.” I shrug a shoulder. “Maybe taking this win is what you have to do to become the best. The proof will be in the way you play. Everyone will see it. Or I’m just talking out of my ass and you should totally quit the team and drop out of school in protest.”
“Yes, that’s the solution.” He chuckles. “I’ll do that. Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome.” I look forward, my gaze landing on a building that already looks smaller, somehow.
“Dana.”
“Hm?”
“About us…”
His voice tapers. I take a breath, failing to relax my shoulders as I look at him.
“Us,” I repeat.
“Us.”
“What about… us?”
He avoids eye contact. “I’m sorry,” he says. “About this morning, I mean. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t,” I say. “I’m sorry for leaving the way I did.”
“I was just worried and… I felt guilty and I’m sorry.”
“Guilty?”
“I shouldn’t have…” He pauses, hesitating again.
My heart skips twice, a sudden ache deep inside. “You shouldn’t have… with me?”
“No,” he says. “I mean, yes. I shouldn’t have… with you. I shouldn’t… we shouldn’t go any further than…”
“Why not?” I ask. “What about what we’re doing is so wrong? It’s just… sex.”
Connor looks at me now, his expression one of conflict and confusion. “Because you’re Dana,” he says after a moment. “You’re little Dana Kirby.”
“John Kirby’s daughter?” I say, growing annoyed. “Alex and Ben’s sister? Off-limits? Breakable?”
“No, it’s not about…” Connor closes his eyes, exhaling hard through his nose. “Do you remember the last time I came to your window, like tonight?”
I let my memories wander. “Few years ago,” I say, recalling. “Halloween.”
“We were eleven,” he says with a nod. “At school that day, I was being dumb and stupid for… whatever reason. I snuck in a monster mask and I was leaping out at people in the hallway until I jumped around a corner and scared you. You dropped your backpack and… you started wheezing. You couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Well, that was one scary mask,” I say. More than enough time has passed for me to joke about it now. At the time, though…
“I looked into your eyes and I knew I fucked up.” Connor looks at me now; eyes deep and beautiful. His mother’s eyes. “Out of nowhere, a teacher ran up and took you down to the nurse, but I just stood there. I couldn’t move. I felt so bad. So… guilty.” He exhales hard. “That night, Alex and Ben and I went trick-or-treating, but you stayed in with your mom. She said you weren’t feeling well. Had a bad spell at school, but I knew it was my fault. I didn’t get in trouble for it, though.” He smiles. “You never told on me.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
“I didn’t think there was anything to tell.”
