Page 235 of Talk Swoony to Me


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Danaslips off the guy’s back and steps down onto the back of another Delta Xi who dropped to his knees to be her stool. She glides to the floor, flanked on both sides by two others who gently take hold of her arms to assist her down.

“What the hell is happening?” Ben asks beside me, also entranced by the fluid coordination in their movements.

“I don’t know,” I say, too stunned to say anything else.

Dana reaches us, out of breath from laughing too hard. “Hi, guys!” she says, her cheeks plastered with stickers. Golden stickers. Beta Kappa. Theta Zeta. Even Alpha Delta Xi.

Guess she’s gonna be a sorority girl after all.

“Dana, hey...” Alex puts his cup down and places his hands on her shoulders to hold her steady. “What, uh... what’s going on?”

“I’m a princess!”

“A princess?” Ben asks.

“Yeah! I came to the door, they checked my ID, and now I’m a princess.”

I deflate. “Of course. Princess of Delta Xi.”

“Yup!” Dana hiccups. “That was they made me!”

“What the hell is that?” Alex asks.

“It’s because of your dad. He was Delta Xi, just like mine. They did the same thing to Courtney.”

“And you didn’t mention this before because?”

“Because I forgot! It was four years ago.”

“What else did they do to Courtney?” Ben asks nervously.

I cringe. “Well, she was very popular.”

“Everyone’s been so nice!”Dana says.

Alex chortles. “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

She laughs as another red cup suddenly appears in her hand.

“What’s in that?” I ask, concerned.

“Princess Punch,” she slurs.

“What’s Princess Punch?”

“I don’t know. It was definitely soda, at first. But then they tasted funny, but I didn’t want to be rude, so...” She brings it to her lips.

“Yeah, no.I’m gonna just...” Ben guides it back down, successfully easing the cup from her grasp, “take that from you, okay?”

Dana shrugs, happily serene either way.

I scoff. “Looks like carding the minors is just for show around here.”

“Everyone’s so nice!” she says again.

“Yeah, we heard ya, sister,” Ben says with a laugh.

But this isn’t funny.

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