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“Drew, you didn’t corrupt me,” I say. “I slept with you because I wanted to. Because I loved you. You didn’t do anything to me. In fact, you gave me every opportunity to say no, and you accepted it when I did. You’re not the bad guy here.”
“I know.”
“Then...” I smile. “Come on, Drew. Why does this bother you so much?”
“I don’t know,” he says, defeated. “Like I said, it’s complicated.”
“Un-complicate it for me,” I say. “Please.”
He inhales sharply with a pained expression. “Two months ago, I had the next ten years of my life all planned out. It was senior year and internships. It was graduation and going into business with Seth. It was shaking hands and kissing asses and doing everything it took to make it. I had a future. And then you walked in.”
“And that’s my fault?”
“No. It’s... it’s no one’s fault.” He looks at me, his eyes soft with love. “You walked in... and I had a second future. It was just as good as the other one. It was falling in love with you and traveling the world and giving you the life you deserve. And that would have been fine — it would have been amazing — if you weren’t my best friend’s little sister. I can’t be with you and stay friends with him, but I can’t be friends with him if it means I have to give you up. I can’t have both of you the way I want to, and it’s fucking me up right now.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “So, what do we do?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” he says. “That’s why I need to go.”
“Drew, are you...” I hold back tears. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“No.” He exhales hard. “I just need a break.”
“Otherwise known as a break-up?”
“No. Heidi—” He steps forward to take my hands. “I love you. You’re perfect, but I’m not.”
“I think you’re perfect.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t last. “I need to take a step back. Just for a little while. Okay? Until I figure this out.”
I pull my hands free. “Why can’t we figure this out together?” I ask. “Isn’t that what a relationship is?”
“Heidi—”
“Okay, so you go. You go and you think it over and then, what? You choose between me and him? Is that really so hard for you?”
“Yes,” he says, his eyes falling.
A tear tumbles down my cheek. “Then allow me to make it easy.” I wipe it away and cross my arms. “I’m out.”
Drew raises his head, surprised. “What?”
“You tell me you have the choice between being with me or hanging out with the guy who humiliate you yesterday? Who bullied me for years? And you just expect me to stick around and wait? No. No, Drew, I’m not going to do that.” I take a step back. “I’m not doing any of this anymore.”
“Heidi...” He tries to close the gap between us, but I shift away. “Please, just hold on...”
“This was a mistake from the start,” I say. “I see that now.”
“Wait.”
“I hope you guys are really happy together.”
Drew pauses, his shoulders sinking as he looks at the floor. His mouth opens and closes with tiny silences for a few seconds before he finally looks at me again.
“Okay,” he whispers.
I flex every muscle in my body as he turns around and picks up his duffel bag. I stand up straight. I locked my knees. I do everything it takes to stop myself from collapsing on the floor.
