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I stared at the woman who looked like my mom; she sounded like my mom, but the words that were coming out of her mouth were not anything I could have ever imagined my mom saying.
The tears that had filled her eyes moments before now slid down her cheeks. “I loved Remi’s dad. Tim was the love of my life. When I lost him, I thought I was going to die. When I didn’t, I thought the only way I’d ever be happy again was with another man. I wasted so much of my life trying to find that love again so I could fill this endless void of empty, agonizing pain that never goes away.” She touched her chest before shaking her head and wiping her cheeks. “Every day, I was drowning in my grief and doing everything I could to distract myself from it, and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I neglected you and your brother while chasing what I thought was happiness. You deserved better. I was selfish and stupid.” She inhaled a shaky breath before exhaling. “But now I see that no man can make me happy. Tim was… he was the best man I’ve ever known. He was funny, and charming, and protective, and loving, and kind, and he was always there when I needed him. He saved me, Ruby. He did. But I should never have made my life completely about him. I should have been my own person. Maybe one day I’ll find love again, but if not, I know that I can be happy by myself. I wasted so much time chasing what I thought would make me happy—time I can never get back. I don’t want you to do the same thing.”
I nodded.
“Have you told Kane how you feel about him?”
I shook my head. “I was going to, but then, I don’t know… He seemed so happy that I was leaving that I just…I left.”
“I know that I’m not someone who should really be giving out relationship advice, but if you love him, like you say you do, you have to tell him. That sort of love—the love I know you feel for him—it doesn’t come along every day. I’m lucky that I got to have that love, even if it was only for a short time. I have a lot of regrets in my life, but loving Tim and being loved by him is not one of them. You have to tell him,” she reiterated. “At least then, you’ll know where he stands. But sweetie, I don’t think your decision to stay or go should be based on his feelings.”
I nodded, knowing my mom was right.
“Okay, eat up. I’ve got to go to work.”
When she stood, I noticed her wince as the color drained from her face.
“Mom, are you okay?” I asked, reaching out my hand.
“I’m fine. I’m just tired.” She waved me away dismissively as she grabbed her keys and purse and opened the front door. “I have to go. I’m working a double.”
“Mom!” I stopped her before she walked out. When she looked over her shoulder, I said, “Thank you. I really needed my mom today.”
Tears appeared in her eyes again, but before any escaped, she dipped her chin in a quick nod, and then she was gone, shutting the door behind her.
As I sat staring at the place she’d just been, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going on with her. Something was wrong.
I picked up my phone to call Remi to see if he knew what was happening when it rang in my hands. As soon as I saw who it was, I knew I had to answer.
“Hello, beautiful girl! I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday! Did you get my messages with the good news?”
“I’m not doing the show.” I figured I might as well cut to the chase. There was no reason to soften the blow with someone who had fired me for not wanting to do OnlyFans.
“Is it the offer? I’m sure we can ask for a higher rate?—”
“It’s not the money. I’m done.”
“If this is because I stopped representing you, I’m sorry. I jus?—”
“It’s not that. Really. I’m just done. Thanks for everything, and I truly do wish you the best.”
“No, wait! Listen—” I heard as I hung up the phone, but I didn’t care.
Now that I’d made that decision, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I quickly cleaned up my breakfast, grabbed my keys, and was out the door.
Nerves were spinning in my stomach like tennis shoes in the dryer as I pulled up to Kane’s house. These nerves were not the graceful flaps of a butterfly; they were heavy and clunky and churning around inside of me, crashing into walls.
I knew why I was feeling this way. I’d wanted to tell Kane how I was feeling for a long time, but I kept giving myself an out. This time, it was happening. After today, Kane Kingston would know that I was totally, madly, completely in love with him.
After taking a deep breath, I climbed out of the car. It wasn’t until I was walking up to the porch that I realized I hadn’t even brushed my teeth or hair. I was still wearing my sweats from the night before.
Oh, well. He’d seen me dressed up. He’d seen me dressed down. He’d seen me in pretty much every state imaginable. If me looking like this was going to be a dealbreaker, it would be best to know now.
That bravado carried me through the front door. But when I walked into the kitchen and found Kane shirtless with his arm in a sling and his trademark five o’clock shadow grown out to a midnight scruff seated at the table looking so sexy it should be a crime, my boldness dissolved like cotton candy in a rainstorm.
I lifted my hand awkwardly. “Hey, where’s Harper?”
“Kenna stopped by and took her to the park. She thought I needed rest.”
