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I know she just wants me to be happy, but that’s not possible right now. I’ve made my decision, so I just want to get out of here and be done with it.
It’s just not the right time. If things were different, maybe. And it’s not like I’ll be gone forever. If he really wants to try being with me, he can come find me after his divorce from Natasha has finalized.
Becca texts back that she supports any decision I make and she’ll see me in the morning. I set the phone down and roll onto my side.
I’m going to bed early tonight and letting myself sleep until I wake up. I know Dad will be bummed that I’m leaving, but I can always visit him, and he can come see me.
There are always new positions popping up on the online nanny job board, so I’m sure I’ll find something fast. And jobs abroad never get as many applicants because people don’t want to travel.
“I’ll be fine. This is what I need to do.”
My heart pounds in my ears as I shut my eyes tight.
Chapter 32
Noah
It’s Wednesday morning after another all-night flight, and even though the work stuff has been ironed out, I dread getting up. And it has everything to do with Liv.
She hasn’t called or messaged since we last spoke, and I’m starting to worst-case scenario everything in my mind.
Is she sicker than I imagined? Does she regret everything we did and can’t even bring herself to engage in friendship with me?
I know I don’t really want to be just friends, but I’ll take it if that’s my only option. I want her in my life, and things can always be reevaluated after some time.
Finally, I drag myself downstairs for some coffee. I need to get into the office, of course, but I’m not actually in a rush today, and it would feel really damn nice if I wasn’t so preoccupied.
Elijah is already up, watching cartoons like usual, and he even got dressed.
“Hey, bud. Thanks for being dressed already. Did you need cereal or something?”
Elijah spins around and smiles at me. “Nope, I already ate.”
“Wow, look at you.” I quirk a brow at him. “What do you want?”
He immediately starts shaking his head, but I know he usually plasters on the good deeds when he wants a new toy or something.
“No, it’s not like that. I know you were working hard this weekend, and I loved the beach, so I wanted to say thank you.”
My heart pulls, and I smile.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing a good job at this parenting thing, but in moments like this, I feel like I must be doing something right.
“Thank you, bud. I enjoyed it, too.”
I turn back to the kitchen to retrieve a mug for my coffee, and Elijah calls out to me.
“When will Liv be here?”
The parental joy that warmed me quickly cools as I think about Liv. I don’t really know what to say to Elijah. I’m not sure she’s coming in.
“I don’t know. She still might not be feeling well.”
“Will you take me to school then? I hate the bus.”
“Yeah, I’m not in a rush. I can take you if need be.”
I go to the counter to pour my cup of coffee and realize there’s no creamer in the house. Liv would have gone shopping for the supplies if she had been here.
