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I try for the bedroom again, but once more, Dad pulls on my arm.
“Honey. I know you. You’re not just sick or something. What’s wrong?”
I don’t want to answer. I don’t want to stay in this hallway. And I don’t want to think about this anymore.
But it’s too late. The floodgates have opened, and now I’m crying as I stare at my dad’s worried face.
“Oh, babe. What is it?”
He moves over to me and takes my shoulders in his hands. His thumb wipes across my cheek as he wipes the tears away.
“It’s complicated. I have to make a decision I’d rather avoid.”
My voice sounds like I’m a silly teenager again, and at this moment, that’s exactly how I feel.
His brow furrows. “What decision?”
I’m not ready to spill the details to him. I don’t know how he’ll react, and I can’t handle more to be worried about, so I go the vague route.
“Have you ever wanted something like a job, but you knew that by accepting it, you’d have to cut some personal ties?”
“I own my own marketing firm. Yes.”
My dad’s “are you kidding” tone lightens the mood slightly, and I’m able to mop up my face with my sleeve without the tears starting again.
“Well, I’m in a similar situation. Except I know for certain that staying around the current friend will be actively bad for the person.”
Dad furrows his brow at me.
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean entirely. But if you’re trying to say that you have a hard decision to make and one of your choices could potentially harm or be a problem for someone else, I think you know what I’m going to say.”
I nod, and the tears start to prickle again. I really need to get a hold of my emotions, but the hormones are not helping.
Coming in for a hug, Dad squeezes his arms around me and then rests his chin on the top of my head.
“You can’t hurt someone else just to get ahead. And I know you know that. It can seem unfair, but that’s not the type of person you want to be. Other jobs will come along, other opportunities. I get the temptation. I do. It’s been rough trying to be the ‘good guy’ in the marketing world. But I’ve gained a reputation for it now, and it’s served me better than cutting corners ever would have.”
I know my dad went through a lot when he was starting his business, and I know it probably came with a lot of sacrifices.
What I didn’t know was that he had to actively choose to do the right thing against constant pressure to go against his morals. I have to hand it to him; that’s pretty amazing.
“Thanks.”
It’s all I can manage. Everything is swirling so fast in my brain that speaking has become a chore.
“I know it’s difficult, Livvy. You’re a great person, and I’m so proud of the hard work you’ve been doing. You chose an amazing career where you can really help families and know they’re grateful for everything you do. But if you need to do something else for a while, that’s okay, too.”
I pull back from the hug and look up into my dad’s eyes.
“I love you, Dad. I’m going to rest. I have a lot to think about.”
“Of course. I love you, too, hon. I’m always here if you need me.”
He gives me another big hug and then steps back toward his room.
“I know. Thanks.”
I slip inside the guest room that I’ve been calling home for the past few weeks and fall face-first into the bed.
