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“No, don’t bother because I won’t accept it. You said I was a mistake. Do you have any idea how it makes me feel, thinking you regret what we did, Hugo? The most important moments of my life, and you are ashamed to be part of them…” A sob made her body shake.
“Cat, I was just mad. I couldn’t see straight because of how angry I was. Are you going to hold my stupid rant against me?”
“Yes, Hugo, I am, because you can’t just say that and then blame it on your temper.”
I exhaled audibly and shook my head.
“You still don’t get it, Cat. I’m not…normal. I’m not Gino to talk with a voice wrapped in velvet all the time, or Roman who calculates every breath he fucking takes. I keep telling you that I’m not the man for you because sometimes I wonder if I’m even a man or just a monster. I don’t think first. I act out of impulse and instinct, and when I’m like that, nothing else matters. That Hugo you saw in the apartment? He was ready to squash Stanley like a bug and make his life history without hesitation. I never wanted you to see that.” I didn’t notice my grip on her wrists had tightened until she flinched, and I let her go. “All I wanted was to take you away from there. I didn’t give a shit about what was coming out of my mouth, woman.”
“A lot of bullshit, that’s what came out of your mouth.”
There was some kind of knot in my throat, and I forced myself to swallow it down and say something that only Catherinelle was able to fish it out of me.
“I’m sorry.” Remorse was a strange feeling for me.
“You don’t think I know what you do, Hugo? What Gino does? You think I don’t know who we are?”
I shook my head again.
“You are the sister of the most feared Don on the East Coast; of course, you are aware of some things, Cat, but believing something and actually seeing it are two different things.”
“I can handle it!” Her voice was somewhere between a cry and a growl.
“Catherinelle, I know you can, but you being there when I was handling business puts you in danger. What if something goes south, and you’re forced to testify? What’s going to happen then? You just became a witness.”
“I would never say a word.”
“If you lie under oath, you go to prison, baby girl.”
“Does it matter? You really think I’d sell out my family to save my back? Hugo, I’m young, not stupid.”
“Never thought you were.”
“Can you take me home now? Today was so bad, I regret missing biology.”
“Cat, let me take you somewhere before going home. We’re close, actually. Walking distance.”
She frowned at me like I was a dumb kid who didn’t understand what his mother just explained.
“Hugo, I’m still mad at you. All I want is to go home and take a nap.”
Shit. Of course, she was still mad.
“You wanted to know where I go every week, right? Let me take you.”
At least now she was interested.
~
There was no way I’d let her walk, so I carried her in my arms, but she pretended I wasn’t there and kept her face turned away.
I couldn’t believe I was actually fucking nervous when I saw the gate of the cemetery a few feet in front of us. What a fucking pussy she had turned me into, squeaking in my shoes for a woman’s forgiveness.
“What is this?” Cat asked, looking at the stone griffons that were guarding the metal gate.
“This,” I started, “is an orthodox cemetery.”
That bit of information made her look at me with her brows close together.
