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“Gino, please, please, put the gun down. Please don’t do this. It’s not what you think.”
“Shut up, Catherinelle,” my brother spit through his teeth.
“I love him,” I started crying, his image getting blurry through the tears. “I swear, Gino, I will never forgive you.”
“Catherinelle!” My brother finally turned to me. “Let Roman take you to my car, or you’ll see your lover bleed out in front of you. It’s not an easy image to sleep with, Cat.” The coldness and detachment in his voice was horrific. He was talking about gutting Hugo like we were chatting over a cup of coffee. I couldn’t take it. I had to stop it.
I started to wiggle and push Roman away, trying to get free, but he only held me tighter. Hugo saw me struggling, and against his better judgment, he decided to say something.
“Don’t hurt her, Roman. I swear to God if you hurt, her…” My monster. Always looking out for me.
“I’m not going to hurt her, man,” Roman said, trying to hold me still, but instead, I scratched his face. “I’m trying to stop her from hurting herself.”
“You hurt her,” Gino said, pinning Hugo with his merciless look. “I trusted you to take care of my sister, and you took advantage of her, Mustafa. She’s seventeen, for fuck’s sake. I should have known that father’s nasty habits rubbed off on you; after all he was the one who made you who you are. He liked young girls too.”
“Gino!” I yelled again, but he ignored me. With every word he said, I saw Hugo praying for the bullet to come and spare him the shame.
“You were a dog in the street, and we took you in, Mustafa. Mi famiglia took you in. You would have died a rat if it wasn’t for us, and this is how you repay me? Nineteen-seventy-four,” he pointed the gun at the huge 1974 tattoo on Hugo’s abdomen. “That’s the year we swore brotherhood, the year you said you were reborn, and you broke that vow, motherfucker. You disgraced my sister and signed your death sentence with the blood of her virginity, brother.”
Hugo just…gave up. He gave up on us; he gave up on life, and he put his hands up, accepting the sentence. Gino was his judge, his jury and his executioner, but I wasn’t ready. Things couldn’t end like that. I needed more time. I needed Hugo in my life.
Roman was distracted by Gino, and I seized the opportunity to gather my force and pushed him away from me. A second was all I needed to grab the gun in Hugo’s nightstand and raise it to my temple. That shut up my brother.
“Catherinelle, what the hell are you doing? I told you to go to the car.”
“No!” I screamed at him. “You’re angry, I get it, but you need to be angry at me, Gino. You’re looking to defend my honor when the only thing you’re doing is hurting me. I. Love. Him. I’m in love with him. And if you pull that trigger, you might as well kill me too.”
“Catherinelle!” my brother said my name like it was a curse and a threat at the same time.
“If you shoot, I shoot.”
Hugo looked at me, begging me with his eyes to stop, but I ignored him.
“Catherinelle, Gino’s right. You need to let Roman take you home. Put the damn gun down.”
“No, Monster.” I smiled warmly to him through my tears. “I’m your protector now.”
“Catherinelle, you are my sister, and you will do as I say, God damn it.”
“You’re not listening to me, Gino. You said it’s not easy to watch your lover die, but will it be easier for you to see me with a bullet in my head?”
Gino clenched his jaw and flexed his finger over the trigger, but the determination in my eyes stopped him. I was ready to die for the man I loved, and he knew it. I was a Nucci, and we always kept our word. Gino cursed out loud and put his gun away. I heard Roman exhaling deeply behind me, relieved that it was over.
“Roman, give Catherinelle your coat. We’re leaving.”
“Yes, boss.”
“And you, Mustafa? I will see you tomorrow to talk this out like men. If you have at least an ounce of dignity, you’ll off yourself by then so I don’t have to.”
I ran to Gino and slapped my hands on his chest.
“Stop!” And I hit him once more before he cuffed my wrists in his hands. “Just stop, Gino. Let’s go.”
My brother started dragging me to the door without giving me the chance to say another word to Hugo. All I could do was turn around and mouth ‘I love you’ to him, and he nodded with a smile that made me shiver and be overwhelmed by nausea again. There wasn’t a trace of joy in that smile. It was a fucking goodbye, and it made me stop in my tracks, even though Gino tugged at my arm, ready to break it if I didn’t move.
“I meant it, Hugo,” I said over my shoulder. “If you die, I die. Today, tomorrow, it doesn’t matter, so be careful what you do.”
I wanted to be sure he wouldn’t do anything stupid out of some sick sense of loyalty to Gino. Again, he didn’t say anything, and Gino took me away, this time not stopping until he had stuffed me in the back of his Jaguar. While he was brooding away, I looked up at Hugo’s window, seeing his shape watching over us as we drove away, and my chest constricted painfully.
