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Beside me, Zach hadn’t stop fighting with officers, demanding to be let inside. I knew that if he'd had the smallest chance to get in, no one would be able to face him.

Everyone was outside in the wide parking lot, but the air was too charged with tension to be easy to breathe. I was no exception; with every breath, I felt like I was choking, getting closer to a slow death. My breath was knocked out of my lungs completely when the radio station of the cop close to me went off.

"Shot fired! Shot Fired! Secure the perimeter, we're moving in." It was the voice of a man, probably the team that got up on the roof. What if they went in and things went south? What about the people inside? Where was James?

All around me, I heard gasps and sobs. Zach went into full Hulk mode, pulling down the barricades and trying to make his way to the one he loved. Five officers had to hold him down and make him stay out.

Shot Fired.

Oh, God, please don't let this happen.

Helpless in front of the pain, I let my body give up, and I fell to my knees to pray. I'd been pinned down on the floor and hit with a power cord before, but I'd never felt more powerless.

Heaven take mercy...

Padre Nuestro, que estás en el cielo,

santificado sea tu nombre;

venga a nosotros tu reino;

hágase tu voluntad, en la tierra como en el cielo.

Oh, papi, just don't do anything stupid like trying to be the hero and jump in front of a gun. You stupid, compulsive, beautiful liar, please don't be your amazing self. Stay somewhere safe.

If James was in there, and he was with London, I knew he'd act like a human fucking shield.

Danos hoy nuestro pan de cada día;

perdona nuestras ofensas,

como también nosotros perdonamos a los que nos ofenden;

no nos dejes caer en la tentación,

y líbranos del mal.

Amén.

I prayed through heavy, sultry tears, like I'd never prayed before. I let go of my sobs in silence, swallowing the crying sounds and begging for absolution. I didn’t know how long I stayed like that, kneeling on the concrete, but Zach's voice pulled me back to earth.

"London! London, come here, baby! Hey, get your hands off of me, man, my wife is bleeding."

Bleeding? London?

I looked up and saw her running towards us, crashing into Zach's arms and holding onto him for dear life. Seeing that gave me goosebumps all over.

"Zach, calm down, baby," she said, but it didn’t help that her voice was cracking. She'd been crying, and her clothes and hands were full of blood. A river of it. "It's not mine it's not mine! I'm fine."

"Oh, thank fuck." Zachary took her face in his hands, touching her with awe, like he was double checking she was even here.

I wanted the same comfort. A few others were coming out; policemen were going in, but I didn’t see James. Where was James?

I pushed myself up on my feet and sprinted to London and caught her wrist in a desperate move. I didn’t even notice the blood that was now staining my hand.

"London, where is James? He was supposed to be with you, where...?"

"Oh, God, Rita, you're here...no. You should leave."

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