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By not sleeping with him, she was safe. She wasn’t going to get a disease, her heart pulverized instead of shattered, nor was she going to end up a single mom. She knew for a fact that there were only too many guys out there that went ‘missing,’ and the mother never collected a dime for the child from him… but surely that wasn’t Max.
“And that is why I waited,” she muttered, wiping her face. “Because I’m not 100 percent sure and frightened that I’d just be another statistic.”
Hurt, frustrated, and overly emotional, she angrily snatched her purse off the seat and practically marched into her office, slamming the door behind her. Heading straight for the bathroom, she put a cool compress on her cheeks and took several deep breaths.
“Just get through today,” she whispered to herself. “Get through the day, go home, have a pity party, and pray that tomorrow you actually hear from Max.”
He’d told her it was a fourteen-hour flight… which meant it might be late tonight before she heard from him. Things happened though, and planes were delayed, there were customs to get through, and flights could be re-routed. She would give it a full twenty-four hours before she let that nervous soul inside of her take the mental microphone in her head.
“Just focus on something else… anything else.”
Walking out of the bathroom, she looked at her office and hesitated, letting out a pathetic strained laugh as she saw the funeral spray of flowers that was starting to wilt slightly. Now that was not even funny, she thought and spotted the ‘cow droppings’ chocolates.
“Screw it,” she snarled, unwrapping the package and ripping it open. Seizing one of the chocolate pecan morsels, she took a bite and sighed heavily in awareness, letting her shoulders slump as she looked up to the ceiling in sugary relief. “Chocolate cow poop for the win,” she whispered aloud – and took another bite.
Bye-bye, Diet…
Somehow, Elana made it through the day, got home that evening and was counting the hours, hoping that she would hear from him soon. So many doubts swirled in her mind, each more painful than the next,and it was a sobering thought to realize she wasn’t really close to anyone – until Max.
Her mother believed in independence, and when Elana was going through everything with her bulimia, there were things said that simply could not be unsaid, creating a rift between them that had taken years to get past. They spoke now, talked occasionally, and sometimes went to dinner. Her father was much the same, hence the divorce and the distance between them all. They were two peas in a pod, both sullenly firm in the fact that ‘they were right – and the other person was wrong’ instead of giving an inch.
And she had done that same ‘dig your heels in’ with Max, but instead of arguing with her… he acquiesced. He gave in, simply wanting to be in this relationship with her – and that was the difference that moved mountains within her. It made her want to be a bigger person and ‘give in’ toward him as well. She was quickly learning that she preferred the idea of giving and taking, sharing, and talking, because this was just awful.
The silence, the emptiness, the doubts…
AWFUL.
And heard a knock at the front door.
Elana sprang to her feet like an airbag detonated under her couch cushion – completely shocked and the burst of hope in her chest was staggering. Had Max come back? Racing to the front door, she opened it without looking… and sagged in despair.
Reese and Eileen were standing there. He held up a box of tissues and a quart of ice cream, and Eileen held up a bag.
“Frozen therapy?” Eileen smiled softly. “We brought all the toppings too.”
Elana looked at the two of their faces, their knowing expressions and let out a sob of understanding. They came over – for her. Her brother-in-law and his wife were putting their best foot forward, treating her more like family than her own. They’d come to her wedding and had come to pull her out of her grief as Eileen stepped forward, hugging her.
“Shhh,” Eileen said softly. “You’re gonna make me cry, and then Reese will be surrounded. Max is coming home as quick as he can, I promise, because he is crazy about you.”
Elana nodded silently, wiping her face, before letting out a tearful chuckle.
“Reese?” Eileen began – and Elana nearly wept again gratefully as Max’s brother mocked him openly in obvious love for his little brother. He hooked his thumbs in his belt and pretended to swagger toward the kitchen with the ice cream quart in his hand.
“Nuh-uh, chick,” he said in a voice very similar to Max, grinning and winking at the two of them standing there hugging. “My belly needs some dairy-lovin’, and I see Magic Shell in my future, yo.”
“He’s not that bad,” Elana laughed tearfully.
“I’m puttin’ two scoops in the bowl, so it looks like a pair of big ol’ boobs,” Reese continued mocking Max – and Eileen roared with laughter, hugging Elana, who was chuckling despite it all.
“Okay, so maybe Max is actually that bad,” Elana giggled, nodding. “Ice cream boobs with Magic Shell bikinis for the win?”
“You know it, babe-in-law…”
“Watch it, Carpenter,” Eileen warned.
“Oh yes, my beautifully majestic Empress of all Babe-dom,” Reese quickly said, making a mocking bow. “I obey you in all things, my liege.”
“I approve of that statement,” her sister-in-law teased, causing Elana and Eileen to share a smile.
