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“When it struck me last night that maybe we got off on the wrong foot because I haven't been around polite society for quite a while – and even when I was, I was a pretty atrocious teenager at times… and I owe you an apology.”
“You don’t owe me anything…”
“So,” he interrupted, not giving an inch. “I would like to address the court with a list of terms and their explanations.”
“Oh geez…” Elana said, rolling her eyes – but she hadn’t thrown him out yet. “This should be good.”
“Thick,” Max began and saw her bolt out of her seat, hurrying him in his explanation. “An adjective used to describe something that is wide and not to be confused with the alternate spelling found in the slang dictionary.”
“What?”
“T-h-i-c-c” he continued, spelling out the word. “Slang for a full-figured body that comes with a curvy waist, gorgeous hips, and makes a man weak at the knees.”
Elana sat back down, staring at him in disbelief.
“Thicky-thick” Max said hoarsely, the paper trembling in his hands. “The superlative form of ‘thicc’, and only to be used when in the presence of greatness. This is not a term used lightly. It's only used on a rare woman that a man would drag himself through broken glass to have a chance to go out on a date with her.”
“Max…”
“Bait,” he continued, his voice cracking nervously. “A lure to draw out any rabid animal you want to corner – or tempt any soldier that hasn’t had sex in years.”
And she laughed nervously, not bothering to hide her response.
“Handcuffs – are also known as bait,” he tossed a brief smile at her, before looking at the paperwork again and reading. “Shuddup – a slang term used when your mind is incapable of operating due to severe lack of blood flow to every region but one, any trauma, and an audible response is needed to verify you are alive,” and paused, glancing at her.
“An example of this would be if a soldier was hit with shrapnel and they were asked ‘are you hurt?’ – the appropriate response is ‘shuddup zoomie’… and zoomie is slang for airmen, just FYI.”
“You think you are slick, don’t you…” she began.
“A ‘Dream girl’,” Max said pointedly, cutting her off again and not letting her have the floor. “A woman you could see yourself in a relationship with for a long period of time. Oh man, is it warm in here?” he asked, realizing he was sweating and really nervous as he looked at the last few words on his list of definitions.
“S-Sincere,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “When you mean something with every fiber of your being. For example, I am sorry I picked on you all those years ago, and I am sincerely sorry that I made you uncomfortable yesterday at the grocery store.”
“Max…”
“Committed,” he continued in a rushed voice, knowing that his time to talk to her was coming to an end – and he didn’t feel like he’d made any headway whatsoever. “Committed actually has two meanings. One, you lock away someone for doing stupid, crazy stuff when they are out of control – but it also means more than that,” and cleared his throat nervously.
“Committed also means giving something your all because you know that it’s right, and feel it from somewhere deep down inside. You are willing to try, put in the time and effort just to see how this would work out because you see so much potential in that other person’s smile, but if it doesn’t work out… you refer back to the alternate definition.”
He glanced at her and saw her slightly upturned smile.
“Last but not least,” he began, folding the paper and shoving it in his pocket, picking up the roses he’d set down in the chair and handing them to Elana. “’Let’s get dinner’ is a casual term tossed about on base meaning that you want to talk to that person, get to know them, there’s a bond you can’t explain, but you really hope that person gives you a chance to become a friend for life.”
Elana didn’t say anything.
She just sat there looking at him.
“Let’s get dinner… please,” he asked softly. “I would love to take you out, spend time with you, talk, and we can go anywhere you’d like.”
Her hazel eyes were searching his as she stood up slowly and he felt his heart hammering in his chest, trying to keep from looking anywhere else other than her eyes. Was he so pathetic that he was willing to blow this chance by trying to get a peek at her boobs?
Be strong, Carpenter! he thought, waiting.
“Max…”
“Elana, I wanted to come by to apologize, to explain because I was afraid you took everything I said badly when you finally snapped at me. I would never imply or call you fat because, my goodness, I want to kiss you so bad my hands are shaking like leaves,” he blurted out openly, hating the way his voice cracked. “I said it last night, and I’ll say it again – please don’t give up on me before this ever begins.”
He reached out, ignoring how badly his hand was shaking, and touched hers as they stared at each other.
