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“There is no other, Henry,” Julian retorts. “Tradition is tradition.”
“Then break it. Simon will not be coming back, and I will not change my mind on this matter.”
I don’t know what’s happened, but the calm atmosphere from moments ago has turned sour. Yesterday, I overheard Henry and Percival discussing Simon’s empty seat. I didn’t know him at all, but he and Henry always seemed close. Maybe closer than Henry and the Prince.
“What about Arthur?” Julian asks while putting his coat on.
“That could work, and this will be his court soon enough, so…” Percival makes note on his iPad. “I’ll check with the Prince’s secretary later.”
“Did you pick up the ruby?” Henry asks Percival when Julian walks out with a small wave at me.
I didn’t think he liked me. Julian was always so standoffish and cold. The last time I saw him, I thought he might push me down the stairs at Hush. But something’s shifted in the way he looks at me. As though he sees me as one of them instead as one of the girls.
“I did,” Percival answers Henry, watching him saunter over to my side before he slips into bed beside me. “She’s not doing well, Henry. The Princess is—”
“Being punished so that she learns not to meddle where she is not wanted.”
“She’s lonely,” Percival sighs with an air of pity. “Maybe you could allow her to attend the howl with the rest of the family?”
“Absolutely not. I told you before, Percy, I’m not my father. I won’t be coerced or manipulated into others’ whims. My mother stays at Barnwell until I decide otherwise.”
The anger in his voice causes my chest to cave. I never met my mum, and maybe it’s why I pity his. But there’s a nagging feeling in my gut that says if something happened to her before they make peace, he would be haunted by this. I don’t want to be the cause of his unhappiness or give him reason to resent me in the future.
I love him, and I want him to be happy. I want to protect him from himself. Enough so that when Percival leaves, I burrow into Henry’s side and tell him, “It doesn’t matter what she’s done, Henry. She’s the only mum you’re ever going to have.”
“It’s not up for discussion,” he replies, wrapping his arm tightly around me and turning me into him as though he’s trying to pacify me.
Pushing myself up slowly so that I’m facing his side instead of being pressed into him, I unravel his arm from around me and hug it to my chest instead. “I didn’t know my mum. For all I know, she could’ve been an awful person.”
“I doubt that.” A blank expression falls on his face as he peers down at me.
“Either way, I would give anything to have her in my life, and you might not feel that way now because you’re angry at her.”
“She might as well have put you in here herself.” The rage in his voice is unavoidable, even as he tries to dampen it down with the grit of his teeth.
“There’s so much blame to go around for so many things. No one forced me to get involved with what your dad or Alastair were doing. I did it because it was a me—”
“Means to an end. Yes, you’ve told me that many times.”
“Because it’s true. There are so many ifs and buts and maybes about this. So many outcomes that could’ve been avoided by different decisions we all made. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. In the end, I’m here with you, and to me, that is all that matters.”
“You shouldn’t be in here,” he growls back, his hand awkwardly moulding to the side of my neck as he tries to adjust himself without jostling me too much on the mattress. It’s only when he’s lying beside me and we’re facing each other that I notice the deep sadness in his eyes. It glistens at me with regret and sorrow so strong that it wrenches at my insides. “I will never unsee the sight of you trussed up to this bed with tubes and wires everywhere.”
“Henry…” I try to soothe him, but the pain is deep enough that a mere touch won’t be enough. I wish I was stronger, better able to comfort him and to show him that I am okay. In a few days, they will allow me to leave this hospital, and I can go back to living my life with a few scars from the tubes they used to suck the blood from my belly. But I will live, and I will be here to love him for as long as there is breath in my lungs and my heart beats in my chest.
“I will live with that sight etched into my soul for the rest of eternity. So please, don’t ask me to forgive and forget because it’s the one thing I can’t give you.” His hand trails up to cup my face as he leans closer and presses a kiss to my forehead. “I want to give you the world, Eve. I want to give you everything you ask for…” Hot lips trace deep kisses down my nose to my lips. “But I can’t give you this forgive-and-forget Christian bullshit,” he sighs between my trembling lips with a shake of his head. “I’m not a holy man, Eve.”
I don’t want him to be anything but himself. The truth is that I fell in love with him for who he is. “I know.”
“Then don’t ask me to do these good, idealistic things.” His thumb strokes over my lip, pulling it lower so he can look in my mouth. “You’re still bleeding.”
There’s an edge of desperate concern in his tone that has me nudging the tip of my nose with his, trying to soothe him. “The doctor said it would take a while for the bleeding of my gums to stop. I’ll probably have a period too for the next few months, a heavy one at that. But it’ll be fine. I’m okay, Henry.”
“Do you remember what I promised about fines and okays coming out of your mouth?” Henry asks with a chortle. His other hand lightly sweeps between the other side of my face and the pillow so that he’s cupping my jaw.
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Your Grace,” I chuckle back, moulding my hands to his nape.
“For now,” he says, licking over my sighs with a longing sigh. “But I intend on making good on my other promise too.”
