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“I can’t help it. Every time I look at her, everything inside me wants to swallow her up and make her mine. To keep her all to myself and I— fuck, I don’t know what that means. All I know is that I’m terrified that if she doesn’t know, I’ll end up lost all over again.”
“What the hell, asshole?” Maggie barges me off our perch with a sob. “You can’t tell me all of this without breaking the freaking dam. Where was the warning?”
“What are you talking about? What fucking dam?”
She shakes her head with a slow grin tugging at her lips. “I think all you’d ever have to tell Rosie is what you just told me and she would know how you feel, but if you’re not ready to tell her, you can show her instead.”
“But how do I know tha—”
“Love isn’t one feeling, Brody. It’s everything you feel toward someone and how much it means to you. How much it matters. What you’re willing to do for it and because of it, and how deep that need is anchored in your soul.”
“So what do I say? What can I say?” Because nothing seems enough all of a sudden. There’s not one word or a million words that could tell Rosie what I feel. I think that maybe the words don’t exist.
“Anyone can tell someone they love them, but not everyone can back up their words with their actions and show them.” A deep sadness clouds her eyes even as she smiles at me and all I can do is give her a hug because suddenly it feels like I haven’t done it enough.
Her arms wrap tightly around me, rocking us from side to side as she tells me, “Sometimes this is all we need to know how someone feels and cares about us.”
I see what she’s saying, but I doubt that it’ll be this simple to show Rosie that I love her. And I think it might be in far too many unreasonable ways that make me want far too much and maybe not enough because the more I have of her the more I want. There’s no end in sight to it. No limit.
I look and I want to touch. I touch and I want to own. I own and I want to rule. And it goes on and on and on until I’m incensed and completely crazy over her. I’m losing my mind and yet I’ve never felt so clear about anything or anyone as I do about her.
Chapter Twenty-One
The room is bathed in a blue glow, bouncing off the white furnishings and making it look splendorous. The small, white square tables scattered throughout the impressive room hold boxed lights, tingeing them blue like the rest of the venue. White bar stools sit beside them, for guests to congregate. Little ice buckets holding bottled water are dotted around the tables, along with the striking ice sculptures, there’s no doubting who’s holding the party. The bar stretched across the far end of the room is manned by a team of smart bar staff, eagerly filling glasses for guests and casually offering water to accompany their orders.
The patio doors are open, leading to a more family friendly area, with a bouncy castle and play area, the organizers really have thought of everything.
We’re stopped a few times, people wanting to shake Brody’s hand, congratulate him for a stellar season so far. He’s a natural, charming everyone he comes into contact with, but he never leaves my side. His hand squeezes mine every now and then to reassure me and check I’m okay. I feel a little out of my depth, but with Brody’s fingers laced through mine, and Maggie and the kids following close behind us, I push those thoughts aside and allow myself to enjoy the event.
“You look edible,” Brody whispers in my ear as he hands me a glass of champagne. My floral summer dress is knee-length, complemented by my favorite pair of white heels. Simple but elegant.
My cheeks flush as I shush him, and he laughs, pulling me in for a kiss. He doesn’t care who sees, and that makes me smile.
Grabbing another glass for his sister, he checks if the kids want anything, but they’re too busy eyeing up the mammoth bouncy castle.
Brody glances over my shoulder and smiles a knowing smile, “I’ll be right back, okay?”
I nod and turn to Maggie, seeing her expression is much like mine. It’s a lot to take in. We’re definitely a long way from Silverbell.
“Have you not come to one of these things before?” I ask, following them outside as the kids eagerly take off their shoes ready to get lost in the play area.
“No, it’s not really my thing. I’ve never really wanted to,” she admits, helping Brooks take his sneakers off and put them to the side. The kid whizzes off like his life depends on it, jumping headfirst onto the bouncy castle and causing Maggie and I to laugh.
“Mom, Mom! Did you see that?” Blaire squeals from beside me, tugging at her mother’s dress. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Uncle Brody is bringing him this way.”
“Bringing who?” Mags asks what I’m thinking. I turn to look and see Brody walking toward us, with a tattooed guy that has this eight-year-old bouncing on the spot in glee. Dressed in dark jeans and a crisp white shirt, unbuttoned at the top to show off some of his ink, he looks familiar but I can’t place him.
“Hey guys. I’d like you to meet Rueben Knox,” Brody says, a knowing grin on his face when he sees his niece’s disbelief. Instantly I remember why he looks familiar, he’s a country superstar and never far from the top of the charts.
“Nice to meet y’all. You must be Blaire?” Rueben says, turning his attention to her. “Your uncle tells me you like my music.”
She nods enthusiastically. This usual chatterbox rendered speechless by her idol. I fight back a laugh, it’s an adorable scene. Maggie puts her hands on Blaire’s shoulders, offering support to the starstruck kid. Brody is looking very pleased with himself, no doubt basking in the knowledge that his position as coolest uncle in the world is safe. His love for these kids warms my heart, he’s such a softie underneath all the cocky bravado.
“Well I’m gonna sign a copy of my new album and leave it with him, especially for you. Okay?” he asks, crouching down to look her in the eye and smiling when her face lights up at the thought.
“T-thank you,” she manages to say, overwhelmed by this turn of events. Her wide eyes locked on Rueben, like she can’t believe he’s really here.
“Anytime, kiddo. It was lovely to meet you,” he says, standing and turning his gaze to Maggie. He flashes her a grin and doesn’t break eye contact as he says, “Anytime.”
